Nevertheless, my love of horror has continued throughout the years, and I still enjoy a good zombie flick, even though my minor but irritating disabilities prevent me from participating in things that I would otherwise find fun and exhilirating, such as the Run for Your Lives obstacle course in which participants are pursued relentlessly by the undead. The fact that I am not an endurance runner – or even a fast one – also poses an obstacle of sorts, so I would have to beg to bring along my bicycle or some skates, and there are probably rules against that. Anyway, the sad truth is that a fake zombie covered in fake blood, stumbling upon me in an unexpected moment, while I am floundering my way through a forest alone, would probably end badly for both of us (or, at least for me) – unless it approached gently whilst singing Killing Me Softly, and carrying a pack filled with cupcakes and punch.


Having said that, the Run hasn’t come to our country yet. What is in the planning at the moment, though, here in Melbourne, is an equally compelling event called “Patient Zero” which is described here:

While the exact scenario and location remain secret, about 200 tickets have already been snapped up for Patient 0, which will pit teams of six people equipped with laser guns against hungry zombies in a do-or-die battle. The setting will be a multi-storey building refashioned as a secret medical research lab where, apparently, an experiment goes a little haywire.


Okay, so that one is out, too, as I cannot fathom paying $150.00 for an event in which I would likely survive for about ten minutes beyond the introduction and someone yelling “Game on!” So I am trying to talk other people into doing it so that I can live or die vicariously through them, all while reclining safely in the comfort of my own lounge room. I am recruiting/encouraging the participation of my young friends who grew up playing video games (a skill which I assume translates well into shooting laser guns), and who do not go into physiological meltdown when someone jumps out at them.


I still enjoy monster movies, so long as they are not too bleak and too reality-based  (i.e. serial killers). I am pretty much obsessed with The Walking Dead nowadays because, in its own way, it fills me with nostalgia for the many evenings of my childhood spent with my Mom and older sister, cuddled up in blankets on the floor of our living room, watching scary shows while Dad was out on weekend hunting and fishing trips.


As an adult, I am more interested now than I was then in the tough moral dilemmas written into these tales, so I spend part of each episode asking myself what I would do if embroiled in the particular circumstances in which the characters find themselves. Would I chillingly sacrifice another person to the “walkers” (i.e. zombies) in order to save myself, if my husband and child were waiting back at the farm for me to bring life-saving equipment? Would I learn to shoot straight at a moving target, and so become a fierce fighter in my group; or would I end up doing all the cooking and cleaning? Perhaps a more salient question is: Would I survive beyond the opening theme song?


I know,  I know, this is not really about zombies; but when else will I have a chance to include this great Cranberries song in a blog post?