Notes on the Coming Apocalypse(s)
Sandra Peterson Ramirez
Posted on July 1st, 2012
There’s been a lot of talk lately about the apocalypse–actually make that the apocalypses. Not that it’s a new obsession. My theory is that as soon as we had something to lose, we started worrying about someone taking it away. Growing up, I heard lots of talk about THE Apocalypse, but that was mostly on Sundays and the idea that Jesus might be a zombie almost never came up. But nowadays it seems to be apocalapooza* with possible supernatural annihilation coming from all directions.
Zombies are a popular possibility, as even my co-blogger has noted. And of course we are constantly at risk of attack from vampires and werewolves. (Except Alcide, he’s clearly on our side–but I digress.) It’s a good thing we have the government keeping us safe from the bogeymen. I’m just assuming that the presidential monster killing mantle got passed on after Lincoln, but I haven’t seen the movie yet so I’m not sure. And speaking of presidents, apparently we Americans expect our president to take care of all sorts of invasions, even those from outer space.
Yahoo!, with its usual helpfulness, is here to help us prepare. Recently they listed apocalypse-proof homes in their real estate section. They were a bit pricy, especially for the end times when funds will be in short supply (I assume), but it’s good to have the pointers anyway. Which brings up the question: what will I need for the apocalypse? Canned food, safe water, durable clothing, garlic and silver, and, maybe most importantly, several good pairs of reading glasses. After all, what’s the point of a good apocalypse if you can’t enjoy it?
*I think I just made up a word!
Photo by Sandra Peterson Ramirez


Your new word is unpronounceable though! What about “apocapalooza”? Much easier. I was reflecting, no doubt in vein, on the idea of a vampire apocalypse. I decided that this would be okay if the vampires were the Anne Rice types, or the True Blood types, because at least we get to die whilst being ravaged by sexiness. Zombies? Not so much. Also, that book you recommended to me? The Passage, that was it. NOT SEXY vampires. Just terrifying. If we have to die screaming, whilst being devoured, can’t there at least be some pleasure in it for us? Of course, no one ever asks the suckling pig’s opinion on how dinner should be served …